The first true espresso was created during the Uni-stock Wood-Fest mosh pit of ‘96 when a crowd of hippies were trampled along with a very large shipment of rejected coffee beans. The beans were pressed so tightly by the rock and roll spirit of the Unicorns rhythm that the hippies were inspired to try the majestic brew. Unfortunately Uni-Stock Wood-Fest was a stranger time and no one who attended the event has any recollection of the event taking place at all.
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Unicorns cannot grow goattees because of their strong moral compass and respect for all God’s creatures.

Unicorns cannot grow goattees because of their strong moral compass and respect for all God’s creatures.
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Unicorns can’t differentiate between the smell of chicken and the smell of freshly baked narwhal
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Unicorns think of horses as “wannabes”.

Unicorns think of horses as “wannabes”.
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Unicorns are all about breaking rules and doing the impossible.
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I made a gif… now all bets are off.  Be back soon. : )

I made a gif… now all bets are off.  Be back soon. : )
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There is a High Council of Unicorns but they have never met, because there has never been a need.

There is a High Council of Unicorns but they have never met, because there has never been a need.
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It’s a universal truth amongst Unicorns that MTV’s “The Real World” really lost its edge after the Hawaii season.
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Never trust a Unicorn with a mask, baseball bat, or a switchblade. Also, they’re dangerous with a gun.

Never trust a Unicorn with a mask, baseball bat, or a switchblade. Also, they’re dangerous with a gun.
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Unicorns always stop at red lights, even if it’s 2:00 in the morning and no one is around.
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